Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
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