so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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