Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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