Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
