haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
