HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
