I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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