cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
