I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
