DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
