He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
