i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
