Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
no you cant smoke seaweed
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just found puke in my bra..
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
