she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
