i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
