I got chris browned last night
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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