Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
