it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
where are my eyebrows?
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