she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
