Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
