my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
