My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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