your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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