I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
