I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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