FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize