just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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