She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We talked him into tasing himself.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
