I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Randomize
