I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
