went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
