do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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