How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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