i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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