Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He has the fingertips of a God
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