I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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