Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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