There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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