This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
