I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
