So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
