I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Randomize
