We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
