And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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