Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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