i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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