What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
