Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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