just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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