You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
