The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize