I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
they call him Oral-B. enough said
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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